financial aid and rants and raves

The week of spring break was hyper, but much of the pain I was fearing did not materialize. There was one situation though, that was both uncomfortable and telling. I was at the Wal-Mart in Monroe NY, getting my tires balanced. They were causing the whole car to shake, making driving both an adventure and painful for my back. The rate was cheap enough (only 5 bucks a tire) and one hour service. With that, I went to the Subway franchise inside the store, and bought a 6" meatball sub. The woman in front of me at the cashier was distressed, arguing over the quantity of meat in her sandwich, stating that she should get extra slices of cold cuts because her son didn't want veggies. She must be unfamiliar with the notion of portion control, as the sliced meat is weighed and partitioned before she ever gets to the counter. She would have been better off getting veggies galore and using them for a salad. The Indian clerk feigned ignorance. She ordered two sandwiches, and presented a coupon for payment, which was promptly rejected by the staff. She must not have known francises are not obligated to honor coupons from another store or discount program. When she re-presented her coupon and the stress was showing, I decided to size her up.

She was a little older than I, but toned and reasonably well appointed. She had a tan, and her purse was a nice leather handbag. Still, there was a plainness apparent when I looked closely enough. She wasn't wearing a great deal of make-up, and her jewelry was minimal. Mostly, I saw the shame she wore like an ill-fitting coat. She didn't argue about the coupon, although I could tell she was angry. She didn't pay for her meal either, and I knew she needed those sandwiches. She left her food and hurried out the door.

Without speaking to her, I could not find out what the problem was or if I could help. I certainly could have afforded the bill, and perhaps I should have stepped up and tried to make small talk. What was her situation? Was she broke because of the housing crisis? Did her mortgage adjust? Was she always scraping by? Would she have been insulted by my aid? Wal-Mart is for broke white people (joking....); was she embarrassed to be there? Could I have used this time to score with a MILF? I'll never know. I also don't know if this was isolated or a common occurrence. During the small time period I lived Upstate, this begging/bargaining was depressingly common. I never did get used to it, and I doubt I will now.

And I should expound on my manic misadventures over Spring Break, but I have a recap instead. I cover lots of topics in this space, and sometimes I wonder why I bother. I have few (if any) readers, so this blog could be considered nothing more than a useless exercise. I would disagree, if I had anyone with whom to argue. Anyway, I was surfing, and I found an interesting article on Yahoo! about how Americans are wondering how bad the economy could get.

Well, such a topic demands my attention, so I read the article, and lo and behold, it covered the same ground as a post I wrote a few weeks ago! The report detailed how average Americans are preparing for the worst, with previously safe jobs now seemingly in the balance. Perception may not equal reality, but it does equal action. (The implication is that this is not always a good thing.) I recognized the theme, especially the dawning realization that we could legitimately be headed for an economic meltdown of epic proportions, with nothing sacred. My own actions taken since the bad news is a conversation with my mom about the potential loss of her Section 8 housing voucher, and where she would have to live. She could always stay at my place, and I would have to figure out her money situation and my new living situation. I have a decent location, but I doubt my mom could find a job close enough to match her earnings at her job now. All adult children should have this conversation, I know. Still, there is an immediacy that was lacking before. The family was worried about what would happen if my mom couldn't work, not that she would lose her rent subsidy. Everything is now on the table, and when have anyone in my generation been forced to confront such a reality?

My main fear with speaking to my mom in the past and discussing the economy with friends is that I came across as an alarmist. No one likes Chicken Littles screeching about the sky, and I always tempered my conversations in the past. Only Scott understood my point of view, and if we were nothing more than a pair of Chicken Littles, at least we would be in good company. The Yahoo post, while milder than some of my posts or conversations, validated the point I've be trying to make. It reinforces the underlying point I've been expressing: to survive all this upheaval, I must stay ahead of the curve. Economists call it the greater fool theory. If I bought an overpriced condo, I have to hope someone will purchase it at a further inflated price to show a profit. I was the greater fool for someone else, and someday hope to return the favor. The margin for error, should things get really bad, will be razor-thin, and success will be determined by what one does now. I've reread the article many times, both worried about what might occur and savoring a small nod from the fates. My efforts have not been in vain.

Spring Break has officially broken, and I'm at the house typing away at 12:13AM. I have off this week, and although I would like to be typing this at a hostel on SoBe, I am trying to save money for Prague. Today, since it is 03/20, will determine if I can go or not. I'll feel pretty silly if I suddenly cannot go, but better to err on the side of caution then to half-ass the trip. I don't have a big theme for this post, but much will happen when I wake up, and I'm nervous this day and week could end very badly. I'll have more information when I return.

I realized in my last post I more or less got off topic. While introducing the books was my aim, I didn't cover the main point I wished to make. I wanted to examine the notion of living frugally and why more people do not embrace it. Also, I wanted to know why people can seemingly embrace it when not living in the United States. One of the recurring themes I find when reading expat blogs and other such web sites is the notion of simplicity. However, the articles really don't mean simple living, they mean cheap living. It's important to differentiate between the two, since what I mean is that these articles, depending on the writer, will either talk about their lifestyle or how to obtain said lifestyle. Articles about obtaining a life outside the USA are normally written by companies or individuals with something to sell, such as a book, magazine subscription, a service, or even a house. For example, Nicaragua's beach front property is a huge favorite among expat publications such as International Living. This ardor has cooled somewhat since the election of Daniel Ortega, but there are many other expat havens pushed by these businesses.


One of the draws of these places is the comparative affordability, and that certainly plays a role in moving to a less developed nation, but the falling dollar may put a dent in such plans. More to the point, many of articles put forth a cost fairly similar to what I pay to live in Westchester, so why go through all the trouble? Perhaps I'm not searching hard enough or truly comparing my cost of living with that of, say, Panama City. Udon Thani, which was home to an R&R camp and Air Force base in rural Thailand during Vietnam, boasts an insanely low cost of living. The budget (including smokes and beer) totaled around 4800 per year. This was in 2005 dollars, so adjusted for inflation and the falling greenback, the new amount should be around 6,000. This is shockingly low, but I'll take their word for it.

Obviously, I could never live on that little here, but do I have to live in rural Thailand? Note that the area in question is not that nice. It's said to be similar to Oklahoma, so we're not discussing a tropical paradise. It is also said to be a bustling city and province, so I can't accuse it of being boring, but you could probably have the same lifestyle near the same price in rural Florida. Let's say you could buy a small condo in Port St Lucie for 56K. The payment would be 256 a month with the standard 20% down, and with the new Florida homestead law, your taxes and maintenance would be maybe an additional 250. Note this is a retirement community, but effectively so is Udon. Add utilities and insurance, and that will average to an additional 125 per month. Food costs are tricky, as are medical costs. Let's assume Medicare and a simple but balanced diet. We'll use $300.00, including the cost of medications via Wal-Mart and Medicare part D. Cable, Internet, and phone would be a $100 flat rate. An automobile is not included in the Udon Thani budget, so I won't include it here. Beer and cigarettes? That's where the sticker shock kicks in. At $5 a pack and $7 per six-pack, at 1 pack per day and 1 six-pack per week, we're now adding an additional $178.oo. Taxes hurt Florida's case, but to make the comparison legit, all entries must be included. Total cost? 14,508, or . True, this more than double, but is the additional expense worth it? Is avoiding the language difficulties, red tape of living in another country, distance from family and friends, and culture shock worth $8,500? Perhaps it is better to ask if the hassles listed are worth saving the money.


For some then answer is yes, and it's easy to dismiss the aging GI's living in Udon as relics from America's troubled recent past. That may be true, but that cannot apply to all those living there. Others may be simply lost, and ended up in UT simply by chance, while others may be involved in the craft trade of the area, where you can buy silk parasols for almost nothing, then sell them in the USA for 10 times the price. Others may be looking for Thai women, and marry and have late-life families. Other examples can be found in other countries, but most are touted as a simpler (i.e., cheaper...) with more affordable housing, medical care, etc. It is even implied you will be comparatively wealthy enough to afford a maid and (not or) gardener.

With that small statement we've stumbled upon a theme. As a function of society, wealth is a measuring stick for you to compare yourselves with others, and vice versa. People find it very strange I do not own a television, but my friends know it is not as a result of being too poor to buy one. A friend did offer to give me one, and I certainly appreciate the offer, but I hate TV. I detest the thought of even owning one. I'm afraid I'll sit in front of the idiot box allowing my brain to rot. Say what you will about Warcraft, but at least it's interactive. I'll buy a TV and PlayStation 3 when Grand Theft Auto 4 comes out and get my gaming fix that way. Then I might get basic cable, or I might not. I get better porn on the 'Net anyway, so I don't need HBO. Am I damaging my social standing by not owning a TV? Perhaps. It is difficult for people to accept, so I have to tell them that I never watched the TV I did own. In fact, it wasn't even plugged in. When my mom needed a new TV, my response was immediate; she could have mine. I'm happy to report she loves the picture.


All this shoulder-patting is meant to show my lack of a TV is a personal choice, and not indicative of poverty nor my shaking my fist at the system. I'm not broke and I don't hate America. I just hate TV. Still, others seem to think I cannot afford a boob tube, and their reaction to such assumed fiscal distress is one of discomfort or sympathy or even hostility. If I gave a shit, I'd be put-off by these reactions. Now if you are truly in such dire financial straights that you could not afford to replace a busted TV, it could hurt to have family and friends judge your personal worth by your lack of financial worth. Imagine too, how the person himself must feel. Living in a small village where you only get 20 channels with cable makes that sting less painful. Ergo, someone just scraping by on a fixed pension may see the cheap housing in Costa Rica and think he could live there in a much better lifestyle for the same price he's paying now. As mentioned above, I don't automatically agree, but some places are much cheaper than America. The notion that you get what you pay for is simply part of the risk.


Still, I cannot help but believe the measurements used by American society are so severe and unforgiving that having a simple lifestyle is so venomously judged that people feel the need to adapt or flee. Please note I said lifestyle and not money or wealth. One of the lies of the era now ending is that people could have wonderful toys and homes and cars and vacations and all other expensive goods and services without having the money to pay for them. Credit was used to pay for all these wastes of economic energy, and we don't have ability to pay them back. Furthermore, America seems to be turning a psychological corner. Finally faced with the horrid notion that wants and needs are not the same, we have begun cutting back a bit. I wonder if this is self-initiated, but I won't be negative. I only hope that this trend lasts, and those who cannot afford to keep up with their neighbors will not feel the need to drive themselves into punishing debt, and those who have money will stop engaging in ridiculous consumption just to mark their standing.

These transitions are painful, and the high we receive from our new toys masks our other deficiencies. We may not be around for our kids, but they have all the lessons, games, and cell phones they could possibly want. Now we can't afford these baubles, and we feel worse then if never supplied them in the first place. I don't have any purpose to life and spend all my time indulging my baser nature, but I have this great house (bought with a negative amortization mortgage) that I can flip in two years at a huge profit. I was a success in everone's eyes (except perhaps my own) and I could always laugh at those who did not or could not match my standard of living. Now I'm renting a studio and trying to rebuild my credit. Are all my fair weather friends still calling? Probably not. Do the people I snubbed when I was playing the big shot want me around? That's even less likely.

I would like to close this essay with a statement about the simple joys and getting back to what is really valuble, but it would sound cheesy. Instead, I think of a single mom who finally took out a student loan after from much prodding from yours truly. When I broke down the refund amount, she realized she could fufill her needs, such as gas, supplies, and even include a trip to the salon. Is she confusing wants vs. needs? I say no. She wasn't hitting some swank salon to have her roots redone; she needed a cut. The look of relief she had was priceless, and one of the reason I can survive the ups and downs of this job. She knows what is truly important, and it begins with the little girl she brings into my office. I ask the good Lord she may always know.

Amazon.com may well be the death of my budget. I just purchased 2 books about cheap living and the underground economy, and I'll review them here to justify my spending. I also just realized any of the information in the books is probably invalid now anyway, and I just wasted 42 bucks including shipping. I can afford it, in that I am not drawing on what little savings I have, but I'm supposed to be doing better than that. I leave for Prague in a month for crying out loud! Bah and bah... Anyway, the first book concerns living cheaply, which by definition would indicate I take the book out of the library and read it for free rather than buying it. Still, the book's introduction was an interesting read. It discusses the impact of sudden and unplanned poverty and the psycho-social ramifications thereof. It's interpretation is fairly bleak, with passages about how people will shun you for your poverty. The first chapter is: "Keep Your Self-Respect While Poor" and delineates how people, due to your misfortune, won't ask you lead charity drives at church, etc. As a Catholic, I like poor people, so I'll gather this is a statement for all those WASP's out there.





The advice I could read via Amazon's page turning app was fairly simple and sparse, but direct and unflinching. This is similar to my financial aid counseling style, so I could appreciate the prose. Written by a tried and true New Englander, the book is published by Paladin Press; a libertarian outfit in the back woods of Colorado. I was first introduced to their books in the pages of Soldier of Fortune magazine, so finding this book on Amazon was a little strange. Both the topic and author are, at first blush, unconventional for the publisher, but it really tells the reader how to live off the grid and defy society's economic expectations as much as possible.





Themes and the usefulness of the advice aside, the main supposition of the book remains in question: is economic misfortune even a social stigma any more? A friend and I discuss the subject often and at length, and we both agree that the social consequences of mortgage foreclosure are non-existent at this point. True poverty, however, will still stop those dinner invites from coming. Part of the disconnect is that while you may have lost your house, so have lots of other people. Moreover, you're still employed. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the money people used to buy McMansions they could never hope to afford was not their neighbors'. The dollars used to purchased these over-inflated homes belonged to the Chinese. Now, the irony of the people of a communist nation holding enough currency of the largest capitalist economy in HISTORY to cause a bubble of epic proportions is worthy of exploration, but I (and apparently almost everyone else) don't really care. People will care when Asia stops buying our bonds, but that is also debate for another time.



Back when a bank could only lend what it had in deposits, getting a mortgage was a far more difficult process then it was during the boom. There were minimum down payments, massive background checks, going over your finances as if the bank was the IRS, body cavity searches, and the like. Lenders are becoming more careful now, as I can attest. This is different than the "credit crunch" since all banks should have been doing this anyway. Not having any money to lend because your bonds are worthless in a different story. Now the money belongs (belonged is a better way to say it, since the money is gone....) to another people far away, and you don't have to face your fellow townsfolk when you pissed away their savings. This is still a problem on a macro level, since this will hurt Sino-American relations and trade, but if I lost my house, the holder of the note won't come to lecture me or kick my ass.



The book, updated before there was even a housing bubble (2001), should have some interesting things to say, even if the approach of the book is steeped in the Depression-era survival of the author's father. We'll see if the true theme is leaving the system or embracing poverty, but I should gain a few worthy nuggets of information either way.



The second book is probably both more interesting and less useful than the first, but how can I pass on a guide to the underground economy? There is a theory in social psychology concerning trends and who benefits. Essentially, only those who embrace a trend in the very earliest manifestations benefit. As an example, the first people to stand up at a concert get a better view, and then only until everyone else follows suit. As such, those who first bought the book when it came out benefited the most from ti's information. What that means to me is another story. Again the book deals with separating oneself from the system, but the unspoken theme seems to be how to work and not pay taxes. I don't need a book for that, I can just wait tables. Still, it should be another entertaining reads with a few helpful tips and ideas.



Whatever good the books could do, (and I am not living in a fucking tent at Fahnestock or the Poconos), it does not answer the fundamental question: how do I control my spending? My apartment is significantly cheaper than my apartment (after tax benefits) and I'll own my car long after it is paid off. So where is the money going? Eating out? Sure. Starbucks? Yepper. Mostly, it services debt. I owe lots of money to lots of places, and my debt payments (including car but not mortgage or maintenance) is a whopping 1185 a month. This assumes I make more than the minimum payment on my credit cards. I don't need furniture other than a box spring and I've mostly tamed eating out for the moment. Driving too much and Starbucks still beg for improvement, but even that's better than it was. I could get rid of the Internet access and WoW, but what else would I do? I could close my storage unit, but I'd have to throw out 75% of what's in it. No, the answer is paying off my debts, and that is incredibly hard. I hope to enjoy the books and I'll leave it at that.

I realize no one reads this blog, but I feel the need to, in my little Internet space, say thank you anf goodbye to Gary Gygax. He created Dungeons And Dragons, and a whole generation is better for it. I will always remeber his writiing style and the adventures I played. Thanks dude. I'll write more one day, but let this mark his death for the moment.

I must be feeling frisky, as I've sent out lots of comments on web pages, emails, etc. I even thought of a topic for a post, so the neurons must be firing on overdrive. Today's topic deals with the radio, and I've touched on this subject before. As a low-tech medium who's glory days have long passed, my attention is understandably odd, even to me. When thinking about this post, I understood why I have anything to say on the subject: it's the only standardized mass media to which I am exposed. I don't count the Internet, as A) the are so many choices in terms of content, and B) radio is far more commercial. This little blog certainly isn't a money making operation, although there are those who use their sites to make money, in some cases scads of it. However, I don't have to visit these sites; there are millions more from which to choose. Radio is far more costly, and therefore your choices are proportionally limited. The only time when the 'Net seems truly a commercial enterprise is when a fave site shuts down due to hosting costs. It's rare but painful.

Radio is much more fluid, and it's temporality was demonstrated on 02/29/08. Rocky Allen, of the Rocky Allen Showgram, was shown the door on WPLJ. I may have mentioned the PLJ is the station I listen to most, with the now common "Hot AC" format. Essentially, it's top 40 radio sans rap with '80's and 90's music filling the space. The ratings haven't been spectacular, but the target audience is wealthy white people from the NYC hinterlands, and the relative wealth of the listeners makes the station a cash cow (as per Wikipedia). It's an excellent lesson in marketing, teaching that quality of customer is more important than quantity. Sill, low ratings are low ratings, and the drive time DJ Rocky Allen had his show canceled. I liked the Showgram, and I would listen on the way home from work. This why the term "drive-time" is used, and it's the second most important slot in radio. Still, I am more concerned about the thought of PLJ changing it's format than the fate of one it's DJ's. Liking the show is not the same as no being able to survive without it.

The owner of the station was Disney for the longest time (the station was under the umbrella of ABC, which owns Disney - or Disney owns ABC... *migraine time*). Anyway, the radio division was sold, and you could sense the change instantly. The playlist, for all its potential vastness, was rather small. When they tried to include C+C Music Factory (dance/rap) from 1990, the reaction was so venomous and swift, they dared not get experimental. I was no different in my shock either. I listen to PLJ to get away from rap and hip-hop, so don't fuck with my expectations. It was like listening to an AM news station and hearing Anthrax. I was lucky I didn't wreck my car. Anyway, the playlist has been tweaked a bit, and I expect more changes soon. A full-blown format change is hopefully unlikely though. More to the point, what format would they choose? All the major potential formats are well entrenched at other stations, save country music. The new owners started as a country music conglomerate, so there's some speculation online this could be the new format, but not a single country music station has ever succeeded in NYC, and I don't see it survivng now. Oh well, at least I have the normal AC stations WHUD and WFAS to listen to while I drive to and from work. Oh wait, they've had to tweak their playlist as well, since their biggest rival is... WPLJ. I have to wonder what has caused the drop in ratings, but I cannot say. No matter what the cause, the world continues to change and evolve, and slowly and surely I fit into it less and less. On that note, I'm turning on my IPod. I feel the need for a little Counting Crows and and an audiobook. Er... oh I get it. Maybe I'll listen to 107.1 The Peak instead. Maybe I'll call in a request for the Crows instead.