Friday, June 19, 2015
The Financial Aid Conselor who Cried Wolf, or...
"No, seriously, it's a wolf. Yes, I know what I've said in the past. Yes, it was a Chihuahua last time and I got a little carried away. Here, let me put the phone on speaker." *snarls, yipping, and inhuman howls originating from the bowels of Hades are heard* "Believe me? Good. No, it's not looking at me; it's looking to eat someone smaller. Uh oh, guess that was just an appetizer; I gotta go."
(Ed. note: we interrupt our long-delayed foray into Cancun - and the darkest depths of my tortured soul - to deliver this breaking news. We apologize for an inconvenience and will return with our original, unedited broadcast shortly.)
It took long enough. I knew things would change with my job and the way the college operates, but I was never quite sure from where the attack would come. This has changed. I started getting a clearer picture around 5 weeks ago via a conversation with a fellow counselor who is active both on the union E-Board and faculty governance. She put a pin to the safe bubble of tenure cocooning my existence. It is possible to unceremoniously dump tenured faculty: close the corresponding department. While I've no data on this at colleges, it's commonplace at the primary and secondary levels, and has been for some time. This one of the reasons teachers are advised to have multiple certifications. If Art is eliminated, but you have seniority and are certified to teach History as well, you get to bump the idealistic and doe-eyed recent college grad to the unemployment line and you get to keep teaching. Shitty? Sure, but it's the reality.
Here's my counter to eliminating counseling in general and financial aid in particular: you can't. Corinthian Colleges went bankrupt with a mere 3 week delay in federal funds, and though we might last a little longer, the result would be the same. So, I figured, we were safe. But what if my thinking was too narrow? What if I didn't know as much as I thought I did? I'd learn I was a little too full of myself about a month later.
The backdrop to this is the contract negotiations the college is having with its two unions: CSEA, which represent the County employees, and UFT, representing faculty. As I was a member of the UFT E-Board, I was tipped that things with CSEA were progressing nicely, with a new contract in the offing. Once that contract was delivered, ours was next, with all but two issues settled via sidebars. That optimism was evidently misplaced. After speaking with someone in the CSEA, I knew things were turning nasty. The administration dropped the bomb: outsourcing. With that one word, I knew I'd found the answer, the missing piece of the puzzle. How you close the financial aid office, maintain student services, and yet not run afoul of the law? You eliminate the department and pay someone outside the organization to do the job. How did I not realize this already? I have an MBA in Human Resources! Ugh. The school would run afoul of the union, but if it saved the college millions per year, or better yet, eliminated the CSEA local altogether (and a sizable chuck of the UFT local), the fight may be worth it. Outsourcing government jobs isn't new, nor automatically better for the public, but it is a new idea here in New York, where such a step would have been politically untenable in the past. Such a move would have to pass muster with the SUNY Board of Trustees, and as a body firmly Democrat, it shouldn't be an issue, right? Right? Well....... Let's look into that.
I assume this fact to be self-evident: The Democrats and Labor were besties for as long as Labor existed, up until the 70's. As per the link, as union membership declined, Labor's power waned as well. However, that's a national assessment.What about New York? Here the influence is still felt, crystallized in the state's Working Families Party (WFP) (Slogan: We say the things Democrats are too chickenshit to say anymore.) The Democratic Party has changed, and if you're a teacher, not for the better. So what happened? The Democrats had a schism. On one side is the old guard, and the other is the New Democrat Coalition, i.e., the Clintons. Mario Cuomo was former, his son, the latter.
Andrew Cuomo is in an enviable position. As the Democrat in charge of a very Democratic state, he has the luxury of choosing sides. The teachers union has to endorse him in elections as they can't (philosophically or politically) endorse a Republican. Albany in general and Cuomo in particular have a long standing tradition of pay to play. With Cuomo's victory all but assured, protesting him so publicly would have had political consequences. With Labor cowed, he's free to enact all sorts of educational reforms like testing, effectively (or outright) ending tenure, a tax cap, and other policies detrimental to the education system as it now exists. Add to this the desire for One SUNY, which is a centralized State University System under the auspices of the... SUNY Board of Trustees! Ah now it becomes clearer. Breaking or weakening the unions at grade schools and colleges allows more privatization and consolidation, with emphasis on results rather than access, which was always the mantra here at my school.
So how was this made possible? Well, my political leanings are quite apparent on this blog; I make no claim of neutrality. I'm also guilty of abusing the semicolon, but that's not the point here. Without judgement, let's briefly explore the most important (and by far the biggest) difference between the two camps within the Democrats: fiscal policy.
In short, the NDC embraces Wall Street, and all that implies: bailouts, little to no regulation, and privatization. These are an anathema to the Old Guard. Bill Clinton made this palatable via triangulation, which is taking a Republican point of view and repackaging it to make it acceptable to Democrats. The most common example from his presidency is welfare reform. If there's enough evidence to show that a particular government effort is so infective as to be proven harmful, then the New Democrats yield to Realpolitik and change the policy or program. It does not require a change in philosophy, a truth usually lost to the purist Left. It can still cause cognitive dissonance. If welfare is bad in some ways, could other social programs be similarly faulty? Is welfare itself irreparably flawed? Even asking these question can be too stressful for some liberals. The New Democrats would say they're only being pragmatic, yielding to the fact that throwing money down a bottomless pit of government programs when it isn't working is bad policy and bad politics, whether that money is directed to education or to welfare recipients.
That is the macro view of the tension within the Democratic Party. From a local perspective, Albany and New York City dine at the trough of big business, and the last State politician who confronted them ended getting caught with his pants down, as in around his ankles, in a Washington D.C. hotel room, with a very expensive hooker. (Fmr.) Governor Spitzer, if you're going to claim to be the Sheriff of Wall Street, attack banks and traders with reckless abandon both in court and in the press, ensnaring the innocent along with the guilty, you better make damn sure you are as pure as the fresh fallen snow. He wasn't, and with the fallout of the scandal, I don't know an single New York State elected official who gives Wall Street any lip whatsoever - once he's in office. You have to be pretty shady to reach the halls of power in New York, and the bankers know it.
So the stage is set for radical change. Some would say it's been too long in coming, and others would say we are relegating some groups to a permanent underclass with no hope of upward mobility. There's truth in both sides, with educational bureaucracy and privilege out of control and unsatisfiable. When the property taxes on a 943 sq. ft. home in Croton a whopping $10,000 a year, something is woefully out of balance. On the other side, poor and minority students will have less chance to break the cycle of poverty. Despite all it's problems, education is still the single biggest factor in social and economic progression for both the individual and society. As a nation, we must invest in human capital, and the evidence that privatizing public education is effective is at best sketchy.
Nevertheless, these changes are coming to the nation and to New York. Now, does is mean I'm suddenly out on the street? Not at the moment, no. I must plan for it within the next 3-5 years. Outsourcing, in these negotiations, was and is probably a strong negotiating tactic. We're simply too close to fall registration to make that change, and both contracts should be signed soon. Certainly my union should have a contract signed in the interim, and setting up an outside company to process to financial aid or academic counseling could not be done in time for this academic year, much less August. Now, while the new contract is worked through and new negotiations commence, the school Another less radical step could be taken: reorganization, which could close my department then reopen it. That could pass legal muster, but would be fought by the union tooth and nail. I'm less worried about this step, though some reorganization will be taking place soon. Its form is as yet unknown to me Ironically, due to my pension situation, I would be better off as a Grade 12 or 13 instead of a faculty member. If given the opportunity, I may take the leap even if I didn't have to.
Armed with this understanding, I'm strangely relieved. The backdrop to my understanding of this situation was the tiniest sliver of hope that I would be OK. I hoped this because I wasn't sure how we could be dumped absent the economic collapse that may/will come in the indeterminate future. Even if there was a legal way to do it, it would political suicide. I was wrong on all counts. Now my final internal impediment has been removed as well. Given a real deadline, I'll be able to force myself to start the real, difficult work needed to survive this change.
(Ed. note: This was supposed to be a short post slapped together in a few hours. However, it acquired a life of it's own and it needed to be more exacting than some of my other posts, hence the abundance of links. We will now return to our original broadcast schedule.)
(Ed. note: we interrupt our long-delayed foray into Cancun - and the darkest depths of my tortured soul - to deliver this breaking news. We apologize for an inconvenience and will return with our original, unedited broadcast shortly.)
It took long enough. I knew things would change with my job and the way the college operates, but I was never quite sure from where the attack would come. This has changed. I started getting a clearer picture around 5 weeks ago via a conversation with a fellow counselor who is active both on the union E-Board and faculty governance. She put a pin to the safe bubble of tenure cocooning my existence. It is possible to unceremoniously dump tenured faculty: close the corresponding department. While I've no data on this at colleges, it's commonplace at the primary and secondary levels, and has been for some time. This one of the reasons teachers are advised to have multiple certifications. If Art is eliminated, but you have seniority and are certified to teach History as well, you get to bump the idealistic and doe-eyed recent college grad to the unemployment line and you get to keep teaching. Shitty? Sure, but it's the reality.
Here's my counter to eliminating counseling in general and financial aid in particular: you can't. Corinthian Colleges went bankrupt with a mere 3 week delay in federal funds, and though we might last a little longer, the result would be the same. So, I figured, we were safe. But what if my thinking was too narrow? What if I didn't know as much as I thought I did? I'd learn I was a little too full of myself about a month later.
The backdrop to this is the contract negotiations the college is having with its two unions: CSEA, which represent the County employees, and UFT, representing faculty. As I was a member of the UFT E-Board, I was tipped that things with CSEA were progressing nicely, with a new contract in the offing. Once that contract was delivered, ours was next, with all but two issues settled via sidebars. That optimism was evidently misplaced. After speaking with someone in the CSEA, I knew things were turning nasty. The administration dropped the bomb: outsourcing. With that one word, I knew I'd found the answer, the missing piece of the puzzle. How you close the financial aid office, maintain student services, and yet not run afoul of the law? You eliminate the department and pay someone outside the organization to do the job. How did I not realize this already? I have an MBA in Human Resources! Ugh. The school would run afoul of the union, but if it saved the college millions per year, or better yet, eliminated the CSEA local altogether (and a sizable chuck of the UFT local), the fight may be worth it. Outsourcing government jobs isn't new, nor automatically better for the public, but it is a new idea here in New York, where such a step would have been politically untenable in the past. Such a move would have to pass muster with the SUNY Board of Trustees, and as a body firmly Democrat, it shouldn't be an issue, right? Right? Well....... Let's look into that.
I assume this fact to be self-evident: The Democrats and Labor were besties for as long as Labor existed, up until the 70's. As per the link, as union membership declined, Labor's power waned as well. However, that's a national assessment.What about New York? Here the influence is still felt, crystallized in the state's Working Families Party (WFP) (Slogan: We say the things Democrats are too chickenshit to say anymore.) The Democratic Party has changed, and if you're a teacher, not for the better. So what happened? The Democrats had a schism. On one side is the old guard, and the other is the New Democrat Coalition, i.e., the Clintons. Mario Cuomo was former, his son, the latter.
Andrew Cuomo is in an enviable position. As the Democrat in charge of a very Democratic state, he has the luxury of choosing sides. The teachers union has to endorse him in elections as they can't (philosophically or politically) endorse a Republican. Albany in general and Cuomo in particular have a long standing tradition of pay to play. With Cuomo's victory all but assured, protesting him so publicly would have had political consequences. With Labor cowed, he's free to enact all sorts of educational reforms like testing, effectively (or outright) ending tenure, a tax cap, and other policies detrimental to the education system as it now exists. Add to this the desire for One SUNY, which is a centralized State University System under the auspices of the... SUNY Board of Trustees! Ah now it becomes clearer. Breaking or weakening the unions at grade schools and colleges allows more privatization and consolidation, with emphasis on results rather than access, which was always the mantra here at my school.
So how was this made possible? Well, my political leanings are quite apparent on this blog; I make no claim of neutrality. I'm also guilty of abusing the semicolon, but that's not the point here. Without judgement, let's briefly explore the most important (and by far the biggest) difference between the two camps within the Democrats: fiscal policy.
In short, the NDC embraces Wall Street, and all that implies: bailouts, little to no regulation, and privatization. These are an anathema to the Old Guard. Bill Clinton made this palatable via triangulation, which is taking a Republican point of view and repackaging it to make it acceptable to Democrats. The most common example from his presidency is welfare reform. If there's enough evidence to show that a particular government effort is so infective as to be proven harmful, then the New Democrats yield to Realpolitik and change the policy or program. It does not require a change in philosophy, a truth usually lost to the purist Left. It can still cause cognitive dissonance. If welfare is bad in some ways, could other social programs be similarly faulty? Is welfare itself irreparably flawed? Even asking these question can be too stressful for some liberals. The New Democrats would say they're only being pragmatic, yielding to the fact that throwing money down a bottomless pit of government programs when it isn't working is bad policy and bad politics, whether that money is directed to education or to welfare recipients.
That is the macro view of the tension within the Democratic Party. From a local perspective, Albany and New York City dine at the trough of big business, and the last State politician who confronted them ended getting caught with his pants down, as in around his ankles, in a Washington D.C. hotel room, with a very expensive hooker. (Fmr.) Governor Spitzer, if you're going to claim to be the Sheriff of Wall Street, attack banks and traders with reckless abandon both in court and in the press, ensnaring the innocent along with the guilty, you better make damn sure you are as pure as the fresh fallen snow. He wasn't, and with the fallout of the scandal, I don't know an single New York State elected official who gives Wall Street any lip whatsoever - once he's in office. You have to be pretty shady to reach the halls of power in New York, and the bankers know it.
So the stage is set for radical change. Some would say it's been too long in coming, and others would say we are relegating some groups to a permanent underclass with no hope of upward mobility. There's truth in both sides, with educational bureaucracy and privilege out of control and unsatisfiable. When the property taxes on a 943 sq. ft. home in Croton a whopping $10,000 a year, something is woefully out of balance. On the other side, poor and minority students will have less chance to break the cycle of poverty. Despite all it's problems, education is still the single biggest factor in social and economic progression for both the individual and society. As a nation, we must invest in human capital, and the evidence that privatizing public education is effective is at best sketchy.
Nevertheless, these changes are coming to the nation and to New York. Now, does is mean I'm suddenly out on the street? Not at the moment, no. I must plan for it within the next 3-5 years. Outsourcing, in these negotiations, was and is probably a strong negotiating tactic. We're simply too close to fall registration to make that change, and both contracts should be signed soon. Certainly my union should have a contract signed in the interim, and setting up an outside company to process to financial aid or academic counseling could not be done in time for this academic year, much less August. Now, while the new contract is worked through and new negotiations commence, the school Another less radical step could be taken: reorganization, which could close my department then reopen it. That could pass legal muster, but would be fought by the union tooth and nail. I'm less worried about this step, though some reorganization will be taking place soon. Its form is as yet unknown to me Ironically, due to my pension situation, I would be better off as a Grade 12 or 13 instead of a faculty member. If given the opportunity, I may take the leap even if I didn't have to.
Armed with this understanding, I'm strangely relieved. The backdrop to my understanding of this situation was the tiniest sliver of hope that I would be OK. I hoped this because I wasn't sure how we could be dumped absent the economic collapse that may/will come in the indeterminate future. Even if there was a legal way to do it, it would political suicide. I was wrong on all counts. Now my final internal impediment has been removed as well. Given a real deadline, I'll be able to force myself to start the real, difficult work needed to survive this change.
(Ed. note: This was supposed to be a short post slapped together in a few hours. However, it acquired a life of it's own and it needed to be more exacting than some of my other posts, hence the abundance of links. We will now return to our original broadcast schedule.)
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
The storm before the calm, or...
I booked what?
The days and weeks leading up to Cancun were more eventful than I would have guessed. First was the surprising level of stress I had, even though financial aid wasn't really that busy. Since we were relatively slow, this cannot be considered a positive development. Does this means I'm totally burned out, unable to handle the job any more? Let's hope not. I also read the quiet as a threat to my overtime, though that fear seems to be unfounded as of this writing. I shouldn't be in a position to need overtime, but I do. Second, I reread my plane ticket, and realized I had booked an overnight flight coming home, grounding myself in Miami from 10:30pm to 6am the nest day. I realized this early enough, I felt, to be able to change the flight without penalty, but no such luck. American Airlines said I'd have to buy a one-way new ticket, which would have cost as much as the original round trip ticket. No wonder it was so cheap. Anyway, I declined. Instead, I'd just have to arrive at the airport early and see if I could get a seat on an earlier flight. I wouldn't have minded the stop over if the timing were not so tight. If I had a full evening to head over to South Beach and hang with friends, eating dinner at News Cafe, and sleep in Suites on South Beach, I would have been glad to stay over. With this timing, I'm staying the Miami Airport Hotel or sleeping on the floor of the airport. I actually had to do this in Athens last year, because there was no other option, but it sucked and I was in pain for days. At 44, it's just not funny or adventurous.
The above situations were minor in comparison to a much larger issue: Financial Aid week, a tradition I roundly loathe. We counselors sit at a table in other buildings across campus, helping students. This is how is works in theory. Truthfully, I want more privacy when speaking to a student about sensitive topics than can be afforded in the foyer of the gym. Also, we really don't speak to that many students anyway. Mostly we just sit at our table, waiting to help passing students. I do like when the table is in the cafeteria; there's a Starbucks kiosk nearby. It does increase our visibility throughout campus in a direct, visceral fashion; I'm just not sure it does anything else positive. Anyway, since our forces are scattered across campus, it's hard to get time off. So, you ask, impatient for me to get to the point, are you saying that Cancun and Financial Aid Week coincided? Why yes, it did. I wasn't greatly worried; my boss knows of my wanderings. She gets annoyed at my early vacation requests, but usually honors them. I do admit I asked for the time in late January, along with every other trip until July. What can I say; I'm proactive. Although she and the counselor who organizes this event weren't happy about it, since I already spent $1800 on the flight and conference, I got the time off. I was also told that I was going to last on the list for vacation until October. I agreed, then sent my vacation requests for the rest of the year that afternoon.
Finally, the last change in my life was by far the biggest and best. I started dating someone, the previously mentioned Carrie. Our first date occurred on March 13th.; naturally, it was a Friday. Adding a new person complicates things, no matter who that person is. The notion of off-shoring your life and money is still in the fringe stage, though the idea is nibbling on the edges of early adopter status. Note I said the idea, not the execution of the idea. I doubt it will ever be anything but a curiosity to almost all, with a large portion calling it un-American to even contemplate. By the time they feel otherwise, it will be too late, but let's stay on topic. I didn't know how she'd react, so broaching the topic was difficult. She didn't immediately dismiss the notion, but I believe she's skeptical concerning my political predictions. She does seem more receptive to my economic pronunciations. However, she's much less interested in theory than I am, so she rightly wonders why I don't, well, do anything. I wish I had an answer. I should say that together we did one thing: we have a tomato, squash, and cucumber plant on her deck, and despite being stuck in small containers for too long, each is progressing nicely.
So, with my ducks in a row, my girlfriend not quite sure what all of this was about but trusting me anyway, and passport in hand, I drove myself to JFK to park to board my flight. Again, I was told that I was wasting money by not taking the train, but there's a method to my madness, and it paid off. I fully charged my phone and Kindle Fire to entertain myself during the flight and with that I boarded, fairly manic with anticipation, wondering what was in store. I thought I knew; of course I didn't.
The days and weeks leading up to Cancun were more eventful than I would have guessed. First was the surprising level of stress I had, even though financial aid wasn't really that busy. Since we were relatively slow, this cannot be considered a positive development. Does this means I'm totally burned out, unable to handle the job any more? Let's hope not. I also read the quiet as a threat to my overtime, though that fear seems to be unfounded as of this writing. I shouldn't be in a position to need overtime, but I do. Second, I reread my plane ticket, and realized I had booked an overnight flight coming home, grounding myself in Miami from 10:30pm to 6am the nest day. I realized this early enough, I felt, to be able to change the flight without penalty, but no such luck. American Airlines said I'd have to buy a one-way new ticket, which would have cost as much as the original round trip ticket. No wonder it was so cheap. Anyway, I declined. Instead, I'd just have to arrive at the airport early and see if I could get a seat on an earlier flight. I wouldn't have minded the stop over if the timing were not so tight. If I had a full evening to head over to South Beach and hang with friends, eating dinner at News Cafe, and sleep in Suites on South Beach, I would have been glad to stay over. With this timing, I'm staying the Miami Airport Hotel or sleeping on the floor of the airport. I actually had to do this in Athens last year, because there was no other option, but it sucked and I was in pain for days. At 44, it's just not funny or adventurous.
The above situations were minor in comparison to a much larger issue: Financial Aid week, a tradition I roundly loathe. We counselors sit at a table in other buildings across campus, helping students. This is how is works in theory. Truthfully, I want more privacy when speaking to a student about sensitive topics than can be afforded in the foyer of the gym. Also, we really don't speak to that many students anyway. Mostly we just sit at our table, waiting to help passing students. I do like when the table is in the cafeteria; there's a Starbucks kiosk nearby. It does increase our visibility throughout campus in a direct, visceral fashion; I'm just not sure it does anything else positive. Anyway, since our forces are scattered across campus, it's hard to get time off. So, you ask, impatient for me to get to the point, are you saying that Cancun and Financial Aid Week coincided? Why yes, it did. I wasn't greatly worried; my boss knows of my wanderings. She gets annoyed at my early vacation requests, but usually honors them. I do admit I asked for the time in late January, along with every other trip until July. What can I say; I'm proactive. Although she and the counselor who organizes this event weren't happy about it, since I already spent $1800 on the flight and conference, I got the time off. I was also told that I was going to last on the list for vacation until October. I agreed, then sent my vacation requests for the rest of the year that afternoon.
Finally, the last change in my life was by far the biggest and best. I started dating someone, the previously mentioned Carrie. Our first date occurred on March 13th.; naturally, it was a Friday. Adding a new person complicates things, no matter who that person is. The notion of off-shoring your life and money is still in the fringe stage, though the idea is nibbling on the edges of early adopter status. Note I said the idea, not the execution of the idea. I doubt it will ever be anything but a curiosity to almost all, with a large portion calling it un-American to even contemplate. By the time they feel otherwise, it will be too late, but let's stay on topic. I didn't know how she'd react, so broaching the topic was difficult. She didn't immediately dismiss the notion, but I believe she's skeptical concerning my political predictions. She does seem more receptive to my economic pronunciations. However, she's much less interested in theory than I am, so she rightly wonders why I don't, well, do anything. I wish I had an answer. I should say that together we did one thing: we have a tomato, squash, and cucumber plant on her deck, and despite being stuck in small containers for too long, each is progressing nicely.
So, with my ducks in a row, my girlfriend not quite sure what all of this was about but trusting me anyway, and passport in hand, I drove myself to JFK to park to board my flight. Again, I was told that I was wasting money by not taking the train, but there's a method to my madness, and it paid off. I fully charged my phone and Kindle Fire to entertain myself during the flight and with that I boarded, fairly manic with anticipation, wondering what was in store. I thought I knew; of course I didn't.
Saturday, June 13, 2015
The early bird gets the worm, but...
The second mouse gets the cheese. The problem is that you don't know which one you are.
When I saw the email for the next Simon Black conference in January, I could barely contain my glee. As usual, I got the email in office, and my coworkers still claim I squealed like a little girl. I denied it then; I deny it now. OK, I may have a small high-pitched "meep" like Beaker from the Muppets. But that's all. Getting a seat was simple. There would be a presentation later in the week, with the web address included. I confirmed my interest, and waited for the broadcast.
This may or may not have been the sound I made when I got the email:
Simon's presentation was probably unneeded. With the Internet-shaking success of the Chile fresh on all our minds, if he had simply said the address and stopped, it would have sold out immediately, no muss no fuss. Unfortunately (for others), that's not what happened. At some point, the connection cut out for some, though it was after the address to pay for the conference was given out - I think. My audio never stopped, so I'm not sure. Anyway, instead of awaiting further instructions, I went to the webpage and I froze. The price was $1500, and the dollar figure scared me. I had such fun in Santiago, but I hesitated. As for the timing, I felt I was safe. Late April is quiet in financial aid, so getting the days didn't seem like an issue. I entered all my info, gave them my credit card number, clicked, then decided to back out at the last minute. I had buyer's remorse, but it was too late. I checked my credit card balance, and lo and behold, I was charged. I was confirmed via email, and yes, I bought a seat. I suppose I could have gotten a refund; the seminar sold out in 15 minutes. Getting tickets to a Taylor Swift concert is easier. In this case, I guess I was the bird. Once I knew I was going, my angst over the price lessened.
The hotel was another matter. One of the biggest lessons of Santiago was my needing to widen my gaze. Cancun is not cheap, and even with the conference discount, the price was $206 per night. I should note that hotel is staggeringly, astoundingly beautiful, right on the Gulf of Mexico. I wasn't getting ripped off in anyway at that price. It should have been $300 a night. I knew the rate would be available for a while, so I decided to do some digging. After a little research, I found the host hotel has another hotel attached to it, and this second hotel was cheaper. As a Marriott Rewards member, it was cheaper still, so I reserved my room while keeping my options open if the price fell.
The airfare required more decisive action. I first intended to use my miles to get a ticket, but the cost in miles was way out of proportion to the distance and the time of year. Late April is not a peak period that I know of, so 50,000 miles was crazy. This was especially true when I found a ticket would be $325 instead. I booked a little too quickly, as I found out much to my dismay later, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. So with my plans set, I awaited an overview of the presenters and tapped into my emergency fund for capital to open a bank account and hopefully get a Panamanian lawyer on retainer. I guessed the total for the trip would be around $2700, and that's a bit much for 5 days in total, but any time I felt doubt, I harkened back to Chile. Only time would tell if I was right.
When I saw the email for the next Simon Black conference in January, I could barely contain my glee. As usual, I got the email in office, and my coworkers still claim I squealed like a little girl. I denied it then; I deny it now. OK, I may have a small high-pitched "meep" like Beaker from the Muppets. But that's all. Getting a seat was simple. There would be a presentation later in the week, with the web address included. I confirmed my interest, and waited for the broadcast.
This may or may not have been the sound I made when I got the email:
Simon's presentation was probably unneeded. With the Internet-shaking success of the Chile fresh on all our minds, if he had simply said the address and stopped, it would have sold out immediately, no muss no fuss. Unfortunately (for others), that's not what happened. At some point, the connection cut out for some, though it was after the address to pay for the conference was given out - I think. My audio never stopped, so I'm not sure. Anyway, instead of awaiting further instructions, I went to the webpage and I froze. The price was $1500, and the dollar figure scared me. I had such fun in Santiago, but I hesitated. As for the timing, I felt I was safe. Late April is quiet in financial aid, so getting the days didn't seem like an issue. I entered all my info, gave them my credit card number, clicked, then decided to back out at the last minute. I had buyer's remorse, but it was too late. I checked my credit card balance, and lo and behold, I was charged. I was confirmed via email, and yes, I bought a seat. I suppose I could have gotten a refund; the seminar sold out in 15 minutes. Getting tickets to a Taylor Swift concert is easier. In this case, I guess I was the bird. Once I knew I was going, my angst over the price lessened.
The hotel was another matter. One of the biggest lessons of Santiago was my needing to widen my gaze. Cancun is not cheap, and even with the conference discount, the price was $206 per night. I should note that hotel is staggeringly, astoundingly beautiful, right on the Gulf of Mexico. I wasn't getting ripped off in anyway at that price. It should have been $300 a night. I knew the rate would be available for a while, so I decided to do some digging. After a little research, I found the host hotel has another hotel attached to it, and this second hotel was cheaper. As a Marriott Rewards member, it was cheaper still, so I reserved my room while keeping my options open if the price fell.
The airfare required more decisive action. I first intended to use my miles to get a ticket, but the cost in miles was way out of proportion to the distance and the time of year. Late April is not a peak period that I know of, so 50,000 miles was crazy. This was especially true when I found a ticket would be $325 instead. I booked a little too quickly, as I found out much to my dismay later, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. So with my plans set, I awaited an overview of the presenters and tapped into my emergency fund for capital to open a bank account and hopefully get a Panamanian lawyer on retainer. I guessed the total for the trip would be around $2700, and that's a bit much for 5 days in total, but any time I felt doubt, I harkened back to Chile. Only time would tell if I was right.
Wirter's block is a myth...
(Insert wry addition here. Wait, I can't think of one)
Neil Strauss, in one of his many videos, stated that writer's block doesn't exist; any problems producing work is entirely due to internal pressures. As an example, a researcher asked students to write an emotionally upsetting sentence out of the blue, and every participant gave a strong (i.e., really depressing) example; mine is too dark to share here. As such, if you're stuck on an assignment, you simply have to power through it. I've never considered this blog an assignment per se, merely an avocational exercise to journal my thoughts, beliefs, trials, foibles, and adventures, of which there have been many, as well as the occasional post on the weather and financial aid knowledge. The freedom I have had in this space is that no one really read my work. This meant I had no pressure.
The other aspect of this blog is that I never considered myself a writer. I can write, but it was all for my own entertainment. My essays are a good way to hone my interactions with students, for example, fine tuning my explanations when they've lost financial aid or are ineligible due to income. I also work out my plans and detail my successes and failures, mostly to think of them in different ways than simply ruminating or speaking about them to my therapist, Scott, or my sponsors. Writing uses a different part of the brain, and we process the information differently when written, and when read. This is why text messaging is so fraught with misunderstanding. We create it as spoken communication, but is processed as written communication. Absent facial expressions and tone of voice, the only sources of context and clarity are word order, syntax, and punctuation. This why my texts tend to look like a formal letter, with periods, semicolons, commas, and upper and lower cases. There's less chance of a misunderstanding.
So I do this for myself, don't (and can't!) make money off this. Since I write about financial aid, I would run afoul of my oath to the County if I tried to monetize the site. If the County pays me for something, no one else can. I take my promise to the County very seriously, so I don't even have Google ads in an unobtrusive corner. With all of the above in effect, I should be able to produce posts like a machine, but I can't. I've tried writing another massive blog post about my trip to Cancun, stopping and starting for nearly 6 weeks, but completing nothing. In fact, I haven't been able to talk about it at all in any way. I'm stuck, and people are noticing. I haven't even posted anything on Facebook! My dad is wondering what happened to me, and why I fell off the map, but I cannot explain it. So, if writer's block doesn't exist, what's the problem?
The answer to the question is that there's something I don't want to see. Just like it took weeks to understand what I truly learned from Cabaret, I'm having great difficulty accepting and internalizing what I learned in Cancun. Does this mean it's all negative? Honestly, I don't know. I have all the recordings from the presentations, and I can't listen to them. For some reason, it's too stressful.
Luckily, I have an understanding girlfriend, Carrie. She reads this blog as well, and she's been wondering why I haven't posted either, here or elsewhere. We talked about my blog this a little after dinner last night, and she asked why I hadn't posted anything. I explained as best I could, and she bade me to hide away and start writing. So today I find myself in a Pocono hotel room, writing and thinking, committed to putting electronic pen to paper. I'm here because I wished to hide myself from any distractions, just like when I wrote my thesis. Driving from Mamaroneck to the Yorktown Starbucks, I sat and wrote for hours on end. It was the one place where work got done, and if that what it takes for me to do this, then so be it. This isn't a vacation; in fact, when I woke up this morning I realized I didn't know where I would eat breakfast. I had to laugh at this. I lived here for so long and for so many periods in my life, and I didn't know where I'd eat? This means that I was in the right place. I have a few rules, besides writing as much as possible. If I'm to venture out of the hotel room, I have to walk to my destination. I'm in a place I knew well, so I could procrastinate if so inclined. This isn't a weekend away. Also, no new information to process. I'm writing about Cancun first, with other topics to follow, if I'm able. Finally, no gaming. Warcraft and Dragon Age will have to wait. With this post completed, and a host of photos uploaded to Facebook, it's time for lunch. Let's get walking.
Neil Strauss, in one of his many videos, stated that writer's block doesn't exist; any problems producing work is entirely due to internal pressures. As an example, a researcher asked students to write an emotionally upsetting sentence out of the blue, and every participant gave a strong (i.e., really depressing) example; mine is too dark to share here. As such, if you're stuck on an assignment, you simply have to power through it. I've never considered this blog an assignment per se, merely an avocational exercise to journal my thoughts, beliefs, trials, foibles, and adventures, of which there have been many, as well as the occasional post on the weather and financial aid knowledge. The freedom I have had in this space is that no one really read my work. This meant I had no pressure.
The other aspect of this blog is that I never considered myself a writer. I can write, but it was all for my own entertainment. My essays are a good way to hone my interactions with students, for example, fine tuning my explanations when they've lost financial aid or are ineligible due to income. I also work out my plans and detail my successes and failures, mostly to think of them in different ways than simply ruminating or speaking about them to my therapist, Scott, or my sponsors. Writing uses a different part of the brain, and we process the information differently when written, and when read. This is why text messaging is so fraught with misunderstanding. We create it as spoken communication, but is processed as written communication. Absent facial expressions and tone of voice, the only sources of context and clarity are word order, syntax, and punctuation. This why my texts tend to look like a formal letter, with periods, semicolons, commas, and upper and lower cases. There's less chance of a misunderstanding.
So I do this for myself, don't (and can't!) make money off this. Since I write about financial aid, I would run afoul of my oath to the County if I tried to monetize the site. If the County pays me for something, no one else can. I take my promise to the County very seriously, so I don't even have Google ads in an unobtrusive corner. With all of the above in effect, I should be able to produce posts like a machine, but I can't. I've tried writing another massive blog post about my trip to Cancun, stopping and starting for nearly 6 weeks, but completing nothing. In fact, I haven't been able to talk about it at all in any way. I'm stuck, and people are noticing. I haven't even posted anything on Facebook! My dad is wondering what happened to me, and why I fell off the map, but I cannot explain it. So, if writer's block doesn't exist, what's the problem?
The answer to the question is that there's something I don't want to see. Just like it took weeks to understand what I truly learned from Cabaret, I'm having great difficulty accepting and internalizing what I learned in Cancun. Does this mean it's all negative? Honestly, I don't know. I have all the recordings from the presentations, and I can't listen to them. For some reason, it's too stressful.
Luckily, I have an understanding girlfriend, Carrie. She reads this blog as well, and she's been wondering why I haven't posted either, here or elsewhere. We talked about my blog this a little after dinner last night, and she asked why I hadn't posted anything. I explained as best I could, and she bade me to hide away and start writing. So today I find myself in a Pocono hotel room, writing and thinking, committed to putting electronic pen to paper. I'm here because I wished to hide myself from any distractions, just like when I wrote my thesis. Driving from Mamaroneck to the Yorktown Starbucks, I sat and wrote for hours on end. It was the one place where work got done, and if that what it takes for me to do this, then so be it. This isn't a vacation; in fact, when I woke up this morning I realized I didn't know where I would eat breakfast. I had to laugh at this. I lived here for so long and for so many periods in my life, and I didn't know where I'd eat? This means that I was in the right place. I have a few rules, besides writing as much as possible. If I'm to venture out of the hotel room, I have to walk to my destination. I'm in a place I knew well, so I could procrastinate if so inclined. This isn't a weekend away. Also, no new information to process. I'm writing about Cancun first, with other topics to follow, if I'm able. Finally, no gaming. Warcraft and Dragon Age will have to wait. With this post completed, and a host of photos uploaded to Facebook, it's time for lunch. Let's get walking.
