Saturday, June 13, 2015
Wirter's block is a myth...
(Insert wry addition here. Wait, I can't think of one)
Neil Strauss, in one of his many videos, stated that writer's block doesn't exist; any problems producing work is entirely due to internal pressures. As an example, a researcher asked students to write an emotionally upsetting sentence out of the blue, and every participant gave a strong (i.e., really depressing) example; mine is too dark to share here. As such, if you're stuck on an assignment, you simply have to power through it. I've never considered this blog an assignment per se, merely an avocational exercise to journal my thoughts, beliefs, trials, foibles, and adventures, of which there have been many, as well as the occasional post on the weather and financial aid knowledge. The freedom I have had in this space is that no one really read my work. This meant I had no pressure.
The other aspect of this blog is that I never considered myself a writer. I can write, but it was all for my own entertainment. My essays are a good way to hone my interactions with students, for example, fine tuning my explanations when they've lost financial aid or are ineligible due to income. I also work out my plans and detail my successes and failures, mostly to think of them in different ways than simply ruminating or speaking about them to my therapist, Scott, or my sponsors. Writing uses a different part of the brain, and we process the information differently when written, and when read. This is why text messaging is so fraught with misunderstanding. We create it as spoken communication, but is processed as written communication. Absent facial expressions and tone of voice, the only sources of context and clarity are word order, syntax, and punctuation. This why my texts tend to look like a formal letter, with periods, semicolons, commas, and upper and lower cases. There's less chance of a misunderstanding.
So I do this for myself, don't (and can't!) make money off this. Since I write about financial aid, I would run afoul of my oath to the County if I tried to monetize the site. If the County pays me for something, no one else can. I take my promise to the County very seriously, so I don't even have Google ads in an unobtrusive corner. With all of the above in effect, I should be able to produce posts like a machine, but I can't. I've tried writing another massive blog post about my trip to Cancun, stopping and starting for nearly 6 weeks, but completing nothing. In fact, I haven't been able to talk about it at all in any way. I'm stuck, and people are noticing. I haven't even posted anything on Facebook! My dad is wondering what happened to me, and why I fell off the map, but I cannot explain it. So, if writer's block doesn't exist, what's the problem?
The answer to the question is that there's something I don't want to see. Just like it took weeks to understand what I truly learned from Cabaret, I'm having great difficulty accepting and internalizing what I learned in Cancun. Does this mean it's all negative? Honestly, I don't know. I have all the recordings from the presentations, and I can't listen to them. For some reason, it's too stressful.
Luckily, I have an understanding girlfriend, Carrie. She reads this blog as well, and she's been wondering why I haven't posted either, here or elsewhere. We talked about my blog this a little after dinner last night, and she asked why I hadn't posted anything. I explained as best I could, and she bade me to hide away and start writing. So today I find myself in a Pocono hotel room, writing and thinking, committed to putting electronic pen to paper. I'm here because I wished to hide myself from any distractions, just like when I wrote my thesis. Driving from Mamaroneck to the Yorktown Starbucks, I sat and wrote for hours on end. It was the one place where work got done, and if that what it takes for me to do this, then so be it. This isn't a vacation; in fact, when I woke up this morning I realized I didn't know where I would eat breakfast. I had to laugh at this. I lived here for so long and for so many periods in my life, and I didn't know where I'd eat? This means that I was in the right place. I have a few rules, besides writing as much as possible. If I'm to venture out of the hotel room, I have to walk to my destination. I'm in a place I knew well, so I could procrastinate if so inclined. This isn't a weekend away. Also, no new information to process. I'm writing about Cancun first, with other topics to follow, if I'm able. Finally, no gaming. Warcraft and Dragon Age will have to wait. With this post completed, and a host of photos uploaded to Facebook, it's time for lunch. Let's get walking.
Neil Strauss, in one of his many videos, stated that writer's block doesn't exist; any problems producing work is entirely due to internal pressures. As an example, a researcher asked students to write an emotionally upsetting sentence out of the blue, and every participant gave a strong (i.e., really depressing) example; mine is too dark to share here. As such, if you're stuck on an assignment, you simply have to power through it. I've never considered this blog an assignment per se, merely an avocational exercise to journal my thoughts, beliefs, trials, foibles, and adventures, of which there have been many, as well as the occasional post on the weather and financial aid knowledge. The freedom I have had in this space is that no one really read my work. This meant I had no pressure.
The other aspect of this blog is that I never considered myself a writer. I can write, but it was all for my own entertainment. My essays are a good way to hone my interactions with students, for example, fine tuning my explanations when they've lost financial aid or are ineligible due to income. I also work out my plans and detail my successes and failures, mostly to think of them in different ways than simply ruminating or speaking about them to my therapist, Scott, or my sponsors. Writing uses a different part of the brain, and we process the information differently when written, and when read. This is why text messaging is so fraught with misunderstanding. We create it as spoken communication, but is processed as written communication. Absent facial expressions and tone of voice, the only sources of context and clarity are word order, syntax, and punctuation. This why my texts tend to look like a formal letter, with periods, semicolons, commas, and upper and lower cases. There's less chance of a misunderstanding.
So I do this for myself, don't (and can't!) make money off this. Since I write about financial aid, I would run afoul of my oath to the County if I tried to monetize the site. If the County pays me for something, no one else can. I take my promise to the County very seriously, so I don't even have Google ads in an unobtrusive corner. With all of the above in effect, I should be able to produce posts like a machine, but I can't. I've tried writing another massive blog post about my trip to Cancun, stopping and starting for nearly 6 weeks, but completing nothing. In fact, I haven't been able to talk about it at all in any way. I'm stuck, and people are noticing. I haven't even posted anything on Facebook! My dad is wondering what happened to me, and why I fell off the map, but I cannot explain it. So, if writer's block doesn't exist, what's the problem?
The answer to the question is that there's something I don't want to see. Just like it took weeks to understand what I truly learned from Cabaret, I'm having great difficulty accepting and internalizing what I learned in Cancun. Does this mean it's all negative? Honestly, I don't know. I have all the recordings from the presentations, and I can't listen to them. For some reason, it's too stressful.
Luckily, I have an understanding girlfriend, Carrie. She reads this blog as well, and she's been wondering why I haven't posted either, here or elsewhere. We talked about my blog this a little after dinner last night, and she asked why I hadn't posted anything. I explained as best I could, and she bade me to hide away and start writing. So today I find myself in a Pocono hotel room, writing and thinking, committed to putting electronic pen to paper. I'm here because I wished to hide myself from any distractions, just like when I wrote my thesis. Driving from Mamaroneck to the Yorktown Starbucks, I sat and wrote for hours on end. It was the one place where work got done, and if that what it takes for me to do this, then so be it. This isn't a vacation; in fact, when I woke up this morning I realized I didn't know where I would eat breakfast. I had to laugh at this. I lived here for so long and for so many periods in my life, and I didn't know where I'd eat? This means that I was in the right place. I have a few rules, besides writing as much as possible. If I'm to venture out of the hotel room, I have to walk to my destination. I'm in a place I knew well, so I could procrastinate if so inclined. This isn't a weekend away. Also, no new information to process. I'm writing about Cancun first, with other topics to follow, if I'm able. Finally, no gaming. Warcraft and Dragon Age will have to wait. With this post completed, and a host of photos uploaded to Facebook, it's time for lunch. Let's get walking.
