Sunday, January 01, 2006
Happy New Year
Happy New Year!!!!!!!
Well, 2006 is here, and we have another chance to live life as we would hope to. We have that chance every day, but the collective turning of the odometer gives one more focus and the reminder this life in not forever, so stop acting like it is! Anyway, I begin 2006 with momentous news: I have tenure. To say this great news is like saying the Seattle Space Needle is tall and pointy. Still, I’m a little scared. I’ve avoided a “normal” life with much zest, but a normal life found me anyway, then tackled me and dragged me back to Westchester kicking and screaming. Win some, lose some I guess. Actually it’s more than that. When I chose sobriety (or more accurately, sobriety chose me and I followed along), this fate was inevitable. Getting sober is the tactic acknowledgement that you life is out of control. What you do not realize (in the beginning)is that you life in out of control in nearly EVERY aspect possible. Your relationships with work, family, friends, lovers, etc. are all victims of abuse, neglect, overcompensation, or immaturity. On really bad days, it could be all four. With the work that is required in the program, the normal life I’ve been dreading was slowly taking form while I concentrated on working on other things. I’m simplifying things a bit, but you get the picture. The upshot to all this musing is the realization that I’m not taking that trip around the world, and I’m not moving to another country (yet…) but I’m cool with it either way. The worst part is: I don’t have a plan. I did have a plan for not getting tenure. True, my plan was to take a backpacking tour of brothels in SE Asia and Eastern Europe, but it was a plan. Anyway, that’s all for now. More later.
Well, 2006 is here, and we have another chance to live life as we would hope to. We have that chance every day, but the collective turning of the odometer gives one more focus and the reminder this life in not forever, so stop acting like it is! Anyway, I begin 2006 with momentous news: I have tenure. To say this great news is like saying the Seattle Space Needle is tall and pointy. Still, I’m a little scared. I’ve avoided a “normal” life with much zest, but a normal life found me anyway, then tackled me and dragged me back to Westchester kicking and screaming. Win some, lose some I guess. Actually it’s more than that. When I chose sobriety (or more accurately, sobriety chose me and I followed along), this fate was inevitable. Getting sober is the tactic acknowledgement that you life is out of control. What you do not realize (in the beginning)is that you life in out of control in nearly EVERY aspect possible. Your relationships with work, family, friends, lovers, etc. are all victims of abuse, neglect, overcompensation, or immaturity. On really bad days, it could be all four. With the work that is required in the program, the normal life I’ve been dreading was slowly taking form while I concentrated on working on other things. I’m simplifying things a bit, but you get the picture. The upshot to all this musing is the realization that I’m not taking that trip around the world, and I’m not moving to another country (yet…) but I’m cool with it either way. The worst part is: I don’t have a plan. I did have a plan for not getting tenure. True, my plan was to take a backpacking tour of brothels in SE Asia and Eastern Europe, but it was a plan. Anyway, that’s all for now. More later.
