Friday, March 10, 2006
Something wicked...
This way came. It's funny. I've had a nagging sensation in the back of my mind for a while now, and I couldn't quite tune out the static of everyday life to hear the message until now. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I've been quite sick and it could have been quite serious. Couple that with an infected prostate and camera shoved up my dick (ouch!!!!) and the mysterious and off the charts brutal neck pain (which has not returned) and the associated trip to the ER and my willingness to take a muscle relaxant (first time in 13 plus years of sobriety), I've been out of sorts. I'm better now; I'm fighting off a sinus infection that everyone seems to have, but even that has faded. So I'm sitting here at the Mamaroneck Starbucks surrounded by kids in Sunday best clothing and attentive and similarly overdressed parents trying to put form to the thought I've just recently understood. The Something Wicked This Way Comes title is a reference to the suprisingly creepy Disney movie from 1983. Based off a Ray Bradbury story, it stars Jonathan Pryce as a demonic carny (Mr. Dark) who makes your deepest wishes come true for a very steep price. An excellent flick, it also starts Jason Robards as an old father trying to save his son. Dark knows that JR sees through him and at the end of the movie grabs the old man by the hand and gives him "a taste of death; so that he knows it when it returns." JR is disabled and in agony. It passes, but he is forever diminished, if only pyschically. He is mortal, and knows what dying feels like.
This is exactly the way I felt, but I could not find a frame of reference to express it. I run the risk of melodrama, I know. Still, the pain and fear I felt were by far the worst of life. I've been burned, thrown through the windshield of a VW bus, fallen off a building, and been involved in 5 car wrecks. Those were laughably easy to tolerate compared to the past two months. The recovery was easier as well. The truly strange thing is this: now that have some kind of reference, I feel much better. You would think that comparing my recent illness with a taste of my own death would only make me feel worse, but it doesn't. It seems the comparison has lessened it's power or immediacy. Maybe I feel less alone; I don't know.
Anyway, I'm here at Starbucks, and still surrounded by insanely loud kids. I have ITunes cranked to MAX and I can still hear them wailing. That's not why I'm typing out the scene, however. I'm noticing how old the fathers are. We'll approximate the kids are 11 or younger, as all the girls are prepubescent, and the fathers seems to be either in their early 40's or older. I'd use the chance to ridicule baby boomers, but I'm realizing that I'll be one of them, and only if I'm lucky. So I'll have to dispense with the boomer bashing, at least this time. Anyway, I highly recommend Something Wicked This Way Comes on video. It's scary and creepy for a Disney flick, and the look and effects have help up quite well. Peace out.
This is exactly the way I felt, but I could not find a frame of reference to express it. I run the risk of melodrama, I know. Still, the pain and fear I felt were by far the worst of life. I've been burned, thrown through the windshield of a VW bus, fallen off a building, and been involved in 5 car wrecks. Those were laughably easy to tolerate compared to the past two months. The recovery was easier as well. The truly strange thing is this: now that have some kind of reference, I feel much better. You would think that comparing my recent illness with a taste of my own death would only make me feel worse, but it doesn't. It seems the comparison has lessened it's power or immediacy. Maybe I feel less alone; I don't know.
Anyway, I'm here at Starbucks, and still surrounded by insanely loud kids. I have ITunes cranked to MAX and I can still hear them wailing. That's not why I'm typing out the scene, however. I'm noticing how old the fathers are. We'll approximate the kids are 11 or younger, as all the girls are prepubescent, and the fathers seems to be either in their early 40's or older. I'd use the chance to ridicule baby boomers, but I'm realizing that I'll be one of them, and only if I'm lucky. So I'll have to dispense with the boomer bashing, at least this time. Anyway, I highly recommend Something Wicked This Way Comes on video. It's scary and creepy for a Disney flick, and the look and effects have help up quite well. Peace out.
